I kinda like Joe Bidden

In what some would call a surprise move, Sen. Barack Obama picked Sen. Joe Bidden, as his running mate. To those who have seen Mr. Obama in action before this should come as no surprise. He is very politically shrewd. If anything I respect him because he can play the game and generally do a good job of it. What are the two main concerns of the American public toward Mr. Obama? Age and experience. Mr . Bidden has both by about 20 years. In fact he's borrowed another one of Kennedy's plays. The difference here is that LBJ carried Texas and much of the South, and Mr. Bidden does neither. However both sought the Democratic nomination. 

I like Joe Bidden though, for several reasons. First of all he is not Hillary Clinton. He does not seem to be a power-whoring, money-grubbing slick ass with less class than the average Chinese concubine. I also like Mr. Bidden because his mouth gets him in trouble. And, what's more he could give a rat's ass. Not only did he insult the Indian community while campaigning in Connecticut, but he chose not to apologize for it. I mean it's Connecticut how much could it really hurt? Not to mention that the quote involving Indians and something about 7-11's, while a vicious stereotype (is oft times totally true), it's not something that doesn't get volleyed around the average American dinner table once a week, if not once a night. Then there is the comment about Obama being a "rare, articulate, black man" or something along those lines. Despite heavy flack he did relatively little to weather the storm.  You have to admire that kind of unflinching, opinionated talk from a politician. Finally something that isn't wrapped in euphemism, said while dancing around an issue. Maybe that is what Mr. Obama and America are looking for. There is more than meets the eye. 

So here's to you Mr. Bidden, from one prick who can't control his mouth to another. Go get 'em!

I hope tomorrow is cleaner

One of the last times I visited my great-grandmother in Texas City I was struck by the sky. The sky is so fascinating because of its vastness. I love a blue sky. Baby blue, clean, no clouds, not even the vaguest hint of one. Stretching, miles, forever. The night sky is the same, but it has different nuances, different meanings, and gives me a different feeling. The last time I visited Bobbin sometime in the summer of 1995 it was cloudy. That night, I noticed how the clouds held everything in. The lights, from buildings, from the refineries, all mixing with smoke and sea breezes. It was beautiful, orange and purple and gray and black. The air was wet and salty and even a little breezy. 

I love the sky like that. It's like that in the Valley too. The breeze ruffling your hair and caressing your face. I love that. It's like God is there, and I can think a little more clearly. It was like that tonight. Some people don't like the clouds, and I have to admit they are at times menacing. At night though, I think it keeps all of the good things from the day in. It reflects progress and change and brings rain, making for a clean tomorrow. 

Bring It On

This time last year, I was a first time teacher who was getting overwhelmed trying to get his Alternative Certification, in an inner city school district, and trying to figure out how I was going to be the white version of Jaime Escalante or Joe Clark. And just like always, when I feel my back against the wall, I closed my eyes and fought like hell. The problem with fighting like hell with your eyes closed is that you don't know where your punches land. 

I remember feeling this way in college, when I was chairing an organization. Out of my desire to do the job perfectly (that is the only way to do things I was brought up to believe), I pushed hard, cussed and yelled and kept moving. This didn't always help the kids and more often that not, gave me a headache from beating my head against a brick wall. Just like in college by the time I got it under control, I'd hurt everyone, my credibility and I felt like hell all the time. The only difference is that last year, I worked out a lot, and still do. It's the only way to control my anxiety. Work out or not eat. Since not eating makes folks want to commit me to a mental institution I work out. 

I try not to let that get out of control. But the desire is always, always, always there. The same way that for the most part I'm the worst person in the world at math, but I have a pretty good running total of my calories consumed everyday. I'm never off my more than 50. I know it's crazy and obsessive, but it's better than it was. This is the only thing I can control. 

I can't control kids. I can't control what they say, what happens when they leave my room or go home. Even if I want to. I can't control what they remember or what they care about. But after praying like some fervent, superstitious Catholic (I always picture Bloody Mary, she prayed when she peed) I have realized that that is Ok. I can only be a bit of calm in the storm that they may have to go home to. I can try and make them laugh and make them see. And even If I don't succeed, even if I am hardly perfect, no one is. Save Jesus (not one of my kids Jesus, but you know, the Son Of God). But, if I don't try, then I've done something even worse. I've given up, and become a hypocrite. So here's to trying. Here's to the brick wall, but this year, I'll try to wear a helmet. 

Why Russia is Scared

Today President Bush has issued his strongest invective against the neo-Soviet government of Vladimir Putin. I say Vladimir Putin, instead of the elected Russian president Mendedev since Mr. Putin is still the real power behind the throne. 

Until I read this article in the NY Times this morning, I had failed to grasp the whole scope of this situation. If you've been following the Russo-American Alliance for some time you are no doubt aware that there have been fierce disagreements. One of them being the missile defense system that the Bush administration has been wanting to implement in Eastern Europe, in countries that used to be in the Soviet Bloc. 

NATO has annexed many former Eastern Bloc countries including Romania, and Latvia (don't quote me on this since they receive scant attention in the news, but several countries have been added near the borders of Mother Russia). 

If you look at Vlad, you see a man who was, at best, unremarkable. He was a paper pusher, a spy and a small man given a big job and too much power. A man, we have discovered who thinks more of his own power and potential than may actually be the case. Much like the little Austrian courier who cursed the end of World War I and started the next one. A continuation, a way to prove not only the might of his country but also his own power.  Both have less-than-naked ambition, and both rose to power after cultivating powerful contacts. Once there, they greatly increased the power of their own parties (and by extension themselves) and silenced whoever and whatever vocalized opposition. Since 2001 Putin's government has shut down Russia's semi-liberal (critical of the government you must understand) TV station. The liberal free-lance magazine that spoke out on certain of Mr. Putin's policies was also silenced. 

Now I truly understand that the historical implications are grave. This is a shadow of the 1930's Europe. A consequence of the end of a Great War, that was renamed Cold, and the bid to rebuild a once "mighty" empire. Russians, like their German brethren of the 1920's, have faced food lines, a devalued currency, and loss of their military prestige. Unlike Wiemar Germany however, Russia was able to maintain her army and her arms. And now we have seen the charismatic leader who is an ambiguous threat. 

If Mr. Bush did see MR. Putin's soul in their first meeting back in 2001, I wonder if he saw the devil, or the impending darkness. And, while I am more than hesitant to begin a new war in the midst of 2 failing ones, I would rather uphold democracy than live with a new holocaust on my conscience. 

More than an echo

Yesterday I blogged about the troubles in Eastern Europe. This part of the world has been conquered and subjugated so often that I wonder if its citizens would rather be part of an "empire", inside the safe box of being told what to do and how to do it by a much more superior power. 

Yesterday, the historical yesterday that means days, months or years, half a century, Georgia was the territory that belonged to a country in the throes of a world in turmoil. Governments, and ideologies had begun to replace dynasties. These governments promised enlightenment, a change, defending those who had never been defended. But these governments became more repressive than the czar on his throne. Despite promises of racing into the future, the fuedal system remained, until the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991. 

Yesterday, out of the ruins of the Austro-Hungarian Empire , a small country of different ethnic groups, led by men who had studied Western democracy , began. A proud, nationalistic country that celebrated the differences that held it together. This Czechoslovakia no longer exists. It's last president of this bygone age was driven from his homeland by 2 different tyrants. The first time he left, it was the birth of the Holocaust. He had been outplayed by people who had sworn to protect his small country. Instead they carved it into the pieces of a new empire, with a puppet government in an effort to forstall the inevitable. 

Today, we learned that peace in this part of Europe is always brokered by men who want the least amount of conflict. Again there are ethnic disputes that are being encouraged and toyed with by a more powerful country who wants to return to its emperical glory. Now as then, the man at the helm of the more powerful country has curtailed the press and the civil liberties. Today Russia retains control of the part of the country that considers itself Russian. Yesterday, the Germans had used the excuse of protecting its ethnic citizens to carve up the strongest true democracy on the contient at the time. By copying the Nazis the Russians have told the Georgians that the West will not help them. The Georgians have learned that democracy must be fought for, and if you're not strong enough than you don't deserve to be free. Because not only does Russia occupy this part of Georgia's borders, it has been given the liberty (by this Western-brokered peace deal) to intervene farther into Georgia if it deems the threat to be significant enough. Today, like yesterday, there is "Peace in our Time, " fragile now as then. 

More Gumbo (ya-ya!) and loose ends

So, after talking for my girlfriend (and by girlfriend I mean "Say, Girl whatchu doing?") I found out that we have to report back to school Monday morning, not Wednesday morning like I had been thinking. This puts me at a huge disadvantage, mostly because I want to go out Sunday night and sleep in Monday. I still will...more than likely. I can't help but thinking how quickly the summer went, or really how fast time does fly, having fun or not. Last night I met up with a friend from high school, who recently moved to town. Beside the fact that we probably haven't seen each other since Graduation six years ago, and beside the fact that I'm half my former size I'd say it was a good evening. It's really nice to have someone who knows where you come from every once in a while. For me that was college. I don't like who I was in high school, I never go back to my hometown (I hardly did when my parents still lived there) and I'd rather castrate myself with a rubber band than talk to most of the folks I grew up with, even my friends. So, it is totally by chance and just sheer Grace that this girl and I met up...but it made for a nice evening nonetheless. I also got 2 bottles of wine for $4 so I can't complain. The only downside was that you couldn't buy more than 2...damn TABC or whoever.

I'm a little nervous/excited. I signed up to run my first 10K in about 16 yrs. I used to run when I was a kid and took some time off to go through the whole fat, pimply faze in high school. A few years ago I got tired of being the fun, chubby one and decided I'd be the super skinny, funny one. In reality I was the crazy, gay anorexic with a sharp wit. So now finally, I'm just me, funny, smart, oozing charm and bravado to mask deep scars and insecurity. Today instead of not eating and working out a ton, I work out a ton and don't worry as much about what I eat. SO anyway I started running around the time I started going a little crazy, and the running just didn't stop. I'm not always sure the crazy did, but at least it's more mellow and fun.

Here's a quick note tho: If someone tells you they're not crazy, it's bullshit. It might not be your brand but it's still crazy. And being from the South, I come by it honestly, and have learned to embrace it. It's not as bad as it sounds.

So back to nervous/excited. I signed up for the 10K yesterday, and it's just about 10 days away...I'm a good runner but I still don't want to look like a huge jackass. So I started trying to interval train and get a little faster. FLO JO ain't go shit on me...

IF you've been reading you know that I read anything (well almost anything, I don't read Playboy, the pictures of vaginae scare me), and this summer I've had lots of time to read. I read several different news sources daily. So I have plenty of time to be aware of the world and any impending scandal...and as promised the Joel Osteen scandal is just juicy (and gotten juicier, even a little stupid maybe)...like an orange or a wet something I am afraid of ever seeing (yea I went there). This is basically just a huge cat fight.

So the stewardess claims several things:
1. That Miz Osteen was trying to get the attention of "the only White girl on the plane"- this is a possibility, but I'm sure that being the Houston socialite bitch that she is, Miz Osteen has had black people clean things for her. I don't mean that to be racist. I don't mean that only black folks can clean houses. I'm a white male and I've cleaned my fair share of houses. To be especially gay I cleaned a local beauty parlor growing up for $50 a week too. Let's be honest though. To charge that whites are the only race capable of being bigoted or racist is just plain crap. I know Mexicans who won't speak to me because I speak better Spanish than they do. I know that folks in my neighborhood (which is heavily black) look at me as some rich white kid. It's just the way of our world, however sad that is.

2. Miz Brown (the stewardess or goddess in the sky) also claims that she saw Miz Osteen "eyeing" the cockpit, and therefore she (Miz Brown) was only trying to protect the cockpit. Seriously? Did she think she was Jodie Foster in "Flight plan?" Was she an undercover Air Marshall? Does she know King Fu? Or does being ghetto fab and having razor sharp falsies make her the Continental Air Karate Kid? Miz Osteen, was probably just going to who she considered to be in charge of the plane. To her it was no different than talking to the manager at a restaurant. I doubt she was storming the cockpit in an attempt to free Islamic militants.

3. This is just plain funny. There witness for the prosecution is a psychologist who specializes in treating African-American women. This Dr., says that as a Black woman Miz Brown was especially traumatized because she was dealing with in ingrained inferiority complex. Now I'll have to ask my black girlfriends about this one. But if we're talking about ingrained inferiority complexes, let's talk about growing up a gay sissy in the South, in my father's house where (no matter what he says) anything less than living up to his expectation was forbidden. Next time I get the urge to stop eating after someone says something ugly to me or I get into a bitch-fight at the bar, I'll sue the bastard for my complex. You see, we are damaged all the time. Constantly. It's life and it's messy, and we're only human. We're going to fuck things up. But to think you're the only one to carry that cross is pretty narcissistic, even for me. I'm a homo, we know narcissism. Here's the other thing. There is the point, always where you perpetrate the crime by staying on it, by focusing. You're damaged by others all the time, but if you can't ever let go you're just damaging yourself. That's what I think. And no one but you should have to pay for that. Miz Brown needs to realize you only have yourself to depend on. No man, no friends. You must do things on your own, others can only help or support you.

4. I'd just like to say that calling your spouse as a character witness is usually bullshit, even if you're married to John-Boy Walton's pastor step brother will 12 billion religous zealouts, err...I mean followers. Not only do I just not believe or like tele-evangilists (even if they make Lazarus rise from the dead), you're not going to rat out your wife so that some other silly woman gets 10 % of your net worth. Not to mention you're also not going to rat on your wife because she puts out. I'm just throwing that out there.

Then one last thing: The Hillary Memo. Oh Jesus! I'm not surprised. You could tell all the time during the campaign. That article is just completely awesome. Hil, you look like a lezzie, might as well own it and grow a pair, Madame Presidente.

C'est si bon...

This is juicier than wet....


http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200809/hillary-clinton-campaign


Big Surprise! This is awesome. Totally awesome.