Lessons Learned

The last entry I wrote, and left unpublised, was from February. I was going to say how I had been so wrong to misjudge certain members of my family and how I was even hoping that sooner-rather-than-later, I'd be able to put things that happened between us in the past. I was going to say that, until I realize that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I was going to say, that forgiveness or the road that leads there is as much for the trespassed as the trespasser. When the wrong party doesn't forgive, then they just keep stewing on the past and hurting themselves. That's what I'd been doing when it came to certain members of my family. Since I tend to obssess about things this happens to me a lot.

I was going to do all of this, until I found our Friday, from other family members, as always happens in this passive-aggresive, shit-pit of a family that people are getting their feelings hurt, and rather than confront me directly have started a campaign behind my back over things that I have written here. So let me just put this to rest:

1. This is my space, my thoughts and my voice, it can say whatever the fuck it wants, when it wants and how it wants.

2. If I'm writing it down, I'm just as happy to tell you to your face that this is what I think and why I think it. I'm not a a twit, I'm an educated, articulate, bilingual person. I know for better or worse that this is out there. I'd be happy to respond to comments, questions or concerns. For the parties mentioned here though, I doubt it would matter much since they tend to like to victimize themselves.

3. I consistently keep in contact with those friends and family I choose to have a relationship with, just like I assume that they keep in contact with me for the same reason. If we're not talking it's probably because I got tired of putting up with your bullshit.

4. I'm sure that this post will make me a bit of a hypocrite. That's cool. No one's perfect. I tend to want to be a victim too, and I'm sure I'm not blameless. Once it's all said and done though, I'm not hiding behind being a good person either.