Gone With the Wind

"Oh Stevie I thought I was Scarlett O' Hara,". This was about ten years ago, maybe more and I'd been staying with my grandparents and my adoptive grandparents and I had started reading Gone With the Wind. With the movie being such a classic, I had to read the book, not to mention that this was a good time killer for a dork who always hung out with his grandparents for the summer. 

I'd always had a healthy respect for Scarlett. I mean she's hot, she's rich, what's not to love. Sometimes it was like looking in a mirror. Scarlett always got what she wanted. She was rich, and admired and she's much the anti-bellum Winston Churchill, inspiring those around her to just keep going. 

Two years ago, while my soul was writhing in agony on its knees, and I had nothing but time to think, I decided to start re-reading things I had read as a teen. I'm sure this was motivated by the fact that I was working in a middle school at the time. Ironically the only thing that's changed in the 10 (now 12) years since I was in the 7th Grade, is that the internet has made the children faster and more cruel. 

Reading this it's no secret that I have a crush on Scarlett. If I were the kind to be a drag queen I'd be Scarlett, you know that kind of borderline-unhealthy obsession. It's funny re-reading books of childhood (above-grade level reader here) because you realize that there were things that the limited field of your experience cannot capture in the words. Re-reading let's the grown up you enjoy the book again for all new reasons. The more I read, the more I realized the comprimises that Scarlett made to be who she was.  There's nothing like having your back pressed against the wall, and having the Earth cave in around you at the same time. I think thank God at least she could marry a man to help her out.  

Scarlett will not stop until she gets what she wants. Some would call her spoiled, I'd call her hard working, at the very least tenacious. Sure she compromises, marries men she doesn't love, ruins the people around her at times and in the end wonders where the hell it all went wrong, but it usually all works out. That single-mindedness is what helps her survive. That is an amazing survival skill for someone who was cast off by society as someone who shouldn't have the gumption to survive. 

So I have this special affinity for Miz O'Hara quite simply because she keeps her head down and keeps going. She doesn't always get it right, and even causes herself more damage than she ought, but the awesome thing is that she does it, she keeps going, come hell or high water. I have this affinity for Miz Scarlett, because I can't help but see pieces of myself in her (regardless of whether or not that makes me a raging mo).