Eating this Up...

I know, without one shred of doubt that I'm probably going to hell. It's not that I don't believe in God or know that I have many blessings, it's just a general premonition I have. Rightly or wrongly that's how I feel. On top of that, the fact that most religious organizations tend to ostracize and vilify homosexuals makes me extremely wary of organized religion. Especially the showy, mega-church, 700 Club kind. It seems like the new Golden Boy for this brand of God-loving is Joel Osteen. You know the young guy from Houston who looks a lot like John-Boy Walton.

I'm going to preface this. These are my opinions and I am in no way perfect. But, it seems that Mrs. Joel Osteen (aka Victoria) the "co-pastor" of Lakewood Church is being sued by a stewardess from Continental Airlines for throwing a hissy fit on a flight from Houston to Colorado in 2005.

According to one report Miz Osteen asked several stewardesses to clean a spot off of her First Class seat (I'd imagine sometime around or before take of from Houston). After she was passed off to several other stewards, she decided she'd follow one of them to the cockpit. While attempting to do her best impression of one of the 9/11 hijackers in an attempt for someone to clean a spot on her sat, she brushed past the Plaintiff Sharon Brown, elbowing her breast and pushing her against a bathroom door. Miz Osteen was the fined $3000 by the FAA and kindly asked to get her spoiled ass off the plane. Coincidentally because Miz Osteen doesn't realize patience is a virtue (extolled in the Bible, remember this pastor lady) she then delayed the other travelers on the flight 2.5 hours.

I have no idea where to begin with this. For one, I'm sure that Miz Osteen is perfectly capable of handling that spot by herself. Unless she's a paraplegic, but since I've seen pictures of her walking into court unassisted I'm doubtful. Also, was she not aware of the other 50 or more passengers boarding the plane? Has she not flown before so that she's unaware of how much the flight attendants are trying to take care of right before the plane takes off? Could she not have waited? Not to mention: Is this the type of behavior you would expect from someone who tells people how to live their lives? Is she setting a good example for her children, much less the 30,000 plus people who watch her on TV?

Now don't misunderstand. I get that Miz Osteen is human, and that as such, we all make mistakes. I make them daily. All the time. And I have, on more than one occasion, acted like a raving, spoiled bitch in public. But I'm not telling folks how to live or counseling them on the Word of Our Lord. This isn't the behavior you'd expect out of an adult, much less again, a pastor's wife. A really famous one. The new Mrs. Billy Graham. Get the picture? How is it that you've built an empire out of being righteous, but instead, because of the power and status that you've gained you're acting like the spoiled, rich, Houston socialite you've become?

I get so tired of being condemned for something that I cannot help, or even things that I can, only to find out that you're just as much a sinner as me. I'd also like to know if nothing is sacred anymore? This brand of pop Christianity has dangerous consequences. Not only can it be extremely off-putting but I question the sincerity of some one's beliefs when they're flashing them on screens and book covers. Didn't Jesus try to stamp out the money lenders? I'm not saying don't talk about what you believe, I just wonder if this is the most dignified way to behave when you're trying to spread the word of God.

I also think Tele-evangelism is a crock. Look at all of the corruption. Jim Baker, Jimmy Swaggert, God knows who else. Should you be taking private money for what you believe? Where does the line come in? Wouldn't the money Victoria Osteen spent on several first class tickets have been put to better use going to charity? Would that not give her ultimately more credibility as a woman of God whose only goal in life is to spread His love? Bottom line: I know no one is perfect, least of all me, but this is where I think the secular and the divine collide and one of them usually has already gotten stomped on...

But it gets better. Sharon Brown, the poor helpless stewardess is suing for damages to the figure of 10% of Victoria Osteen's worth. "According to court documents, Brown claims that she suffers from anxiety and hemorrhoids because of the incident involving Victoria Osteen and said her faith was affected. She is also suing Victoria Osteen for medical expenses for counseling."

Now I get the anxiety. Somewhat. No one deserves to be treated that way, or abused while doing their job. But maybe the stewardesses on that flight were less than courteous. I know I think of most of the stewardesses I encounter are one step up from bitchy prostitutes who've outgrown their utility. But then, I haven't flown Continental in years. But seriously? 10% of The Osteens means you just don't want to work. How much counseling do you need? It's not like she was wearing a burqa screaming that it was Allah's will do blow up the plane. Not to mention that I've done some research, and unless Ms. Brown shit her pants from her encounter with Miz Osteen and lost her asshole, I'm not sure how the hemorrhoids could be damaged. Did she go into premature labor? Those are the causes of hemorrhoids. Stress to your asshole or diarrhea, not being pushed into a door. That leads me to believe that Miz Sharon Brown might just need to get off her ass, get back onto a plane and do her thing.

The case is now in front of a Houston jury. Pray God it can only get better :).

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Osteens-Wife-Lawsuit.html