Gratitude Journal

Apparently I've typed this before, because when I typed this title in, the wonderful Predictive Text Fairy finished it up for me. I was reading another blog today (authored by another teacher for DISD) and said author commented that his blog this year has been nothing but rants. I feel like this has been the general trend for teachers this year. NCLB+poverty children= a group of kids who have never been taught that learning is important and that the American Dream is hard work, and that only the most nimble beasts (mentally nimble that is) survive the jungle.

Back when I was a kid, I fantasized being the Anne Frank of the Y-Generation, you know, minus, Nazis and Jews and fearing for my life in an Amsterdam attic, oh and minus a vagina. I tried to write in my journal constantly. All the time hoping that there would be something exciting, original or noteworthy that people would want to read about 50 years later. I never kept up with it. The Digital Age has now amplified this and given a real-time aspect to what my narcissism.

To the point. Back then I watched this one Oprah Show. She had been saying how she was keeping a gratitude journal and how this then turned up the volume on her positive outlook on life. She said to start with three things, the more practice you get the more you become grateful for. We'll give this a try again every so often.

1. I am so grateful for Chaz. Despite the terrible flutter of insecurity that just coursed through my body at the mere mention of this need for another person, I cannot go back or turn around. I can't even imagine not having him there. And, while I didn't get smacked around by any one of my boyfriends (unlike the two dreadful, hypothetical lesbian crack whores I passed on my run today) I did get a little mentally smacked around. My need for perfection in fact has made me a veritable 16 year old girl with low self esteem who picks out shitty boyfriends to continue to make them feel inferior.

2. I am so glad to have a job and feel like I actually know how to do it finally!

3. I am glad we have our pups! Sure they're like speed addicts and they need lots of attention but they give you great stories, and it's really fun to watch them play and run around and act like puppies.