Hi, I'm the Little Ball of Fury, perhaps we've met?

It's Monday. It's been over 100 degrees here for what I'm sure is the past 3 months. It's so hot (and I generally like hot) that I could fry and egg on my ass. I haven't been able to breathe for close to a week now, because of the drastic change between Dallas and the Valley and to top it off it took me for-ev-er to fall asleep last night. I'm not really a person who needs a lot of sleep in the first place but I'm starting to feel like I've been ruffied.

This weekend was pretty good. Friday, after staying up far too late on Thurs. nite, I slept. Saturday was cool because my sister came in town and we went to see Kathy Griffin. Then I took Erin to the Gayborhood (even tho, I know so few gays I should be fucking women, but that's another story). This was AMAZING. Now as far as I know my sister has never been in a gay bar (unless you count drinking w/ some of my high school friends in our hot tub a gay bar). I'm not sure if it's because she works in a bar or frequents so many of them in her earnest desire to kill her liver but she wasted no time in basically getting whatever she wanted. Not only am I sure the gays we ran into loved her, but I also think she got some straight guy play. I love when straight men go to gay bars. It's such a departure from the normal things most gay men do with straight guys like blow jobs on the Down Low or running from a beat down. We then proceeded to raise hell. This was awesome. I really miss my sister, and so I'm in an even worse mood that she couldn't stay longer.

Today the office has been crazy. Here are some of my favorite things I've heard today:

Me: Can I get the last 3 numbers on the back of your card.

If you've been living on THIS PLANET for I dunno, say the last decade, and done any sort of online shopping you know that every credit card, and debit card (since they use the same technology) has a 3 digit "security code"on the back...

Caller: No, mine's a debit, I only have 4 numbers

Me: No there will be 4 numbers a space and then 3 numbers...

Caller: No I only have 4

Me: No, there are 3 more

Caller: Wait...

Yea genius who's the dumbass now?

Me: How much would you like to pay?

Caller: All of it

Me:...

This right after I say: "Can I help you?"....so unless I'm working for Dionne Warwick and the Psychic Friends I don't know how much you have to pay or really who the epph you are. Thanks and Gig'em.

My all time, number on favorite:

Me: How much do you want to pay?

Caller: Umm, how much do I owe?

Me: I'm not sure I can't look that up for you since I don't work at the office that gave you the ticket (or misc. payment)

Caller: Well I have a ticket number

Me: Well unfortunately I can't look at their records

Caller: The ticket is under (insert name)

Me: No, again, I have no way of looking that up

Don't we see a damn theme here? Serioulsy unless you rode the short bus to school everyday I don't think this should be that difficult. I would also like to know how "Tax account number" sounds like "credit card number".

I love that people assume you must be retarded or a convicted felon to have a job so lowly as answering phones, but for real some of these folks need to get their IQ checked. That or pull their head out of their asses.

I also hate men. All of them. Including myself for I'm sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt I contribute to my own downfall.

This is why I am fury.